Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I don't care what anyone says—I think you're hot.

196 pounds
Okay, this is going to be a little bit ugly, but it needs to be said . . .

I've noticed something over the years that really irritates me, and it's this: when I see people I haven't seen in a while—old friends and family—they often tell me how good I look. Yes, I know I should be happy when people say this, and I also know that people usually sometimes say these things out of obligation. But I can almost always tell that when they say it to me it's genuine because it's an utterance that is repeatedly delivered in an incredibly surprised tone of voice:

"WOW, you look good."

Translation: "I honestly cannot believe how good you look because the last time I saw you, you looked like complete crap."

I got this a lot when I was younger. Back then I think people had the false sense that I was bigger than I was because I wasn't stick thin (though I was thin). And now I get it all the time—probably because I post my weight on the internet, and unfortunately no one in our society can fathom that a nearly two-hundred pound woman can look good.

No matter how you slice it, it's a backhanded compliment, and I hate it.

Really, the person saying it might as well have called you a fat-ass for how good it makes you feel to hear those words delivered in a completely astonished tone of voice.

So if you're going to tell someone they look good, please do us all a favor and don't act like it's the last thing you thought would come out of your mouth when you saw that person.


  1. Better say nothing than nothing to the purpose. ........................................

  2. Really? I would have taken this as you look younger than the passage of time might have led them to think.


    There is an aquaintance who sees me every once in a great while and a few times she has said "wow, you look svelte" and I think "wow, you're a bitch and I'm glad I don't hang around you much". Not to mention that she has a body to die for so...I hate her even more:).

  4. Alison—that's a good point, but I mean friends and family I haven't seen in a few months (not people I haven't seen in years). If these comments had been made by people I hadn't seen in years, I would definitely take it as a comment on my youthful appearance!

    There was one aunt in particular who I would see almost every month for years and years, and she would always make a big deal of how surprised she was by how good and thin I looked—even though I'd looked the same for years. I was sure she had this image of me as being bigger than I was, and when she came face-to-face with the reality that I was actually pretty darned fit, it always shocked her.

    And that's just one person—I could go on.

    I do want to add that I do love it when people say I look good and/or in shape—just not when you can tell the person is thinking something like, "Wow, I can't get over the fact that YOU look so good." Genuine compliments, on the other hand, are always welcome.